Namaste doston! Aaj hum baat karenge sabse popular aur shayad sabse masti bhare jokes
ke baare mein - Santa Banta jokes ke baare mein! In jokes ko sunte hi hum sabko ek halka
sa mehsoos hota hai aur humein haste haste pet dard ho jaata hai. Santa Banta jokes kaafi
famous hai aur hum inhe apne doston ke saath baant kar unki hassi ka kaaran bante hai.
Is blog mein hum aapke liye laaye hai 500 se bhi zyada Santa Banta jokes in Hindi, jinhe sun
kar aap apne din ko aur bhi majedaar bana sakte hai. Toh chaliye, shuru karte
hai aur apne hassi ke maze lete hai!
Santa ne Airtel ke office mein phone kiya aur kaha ki
uske phone ka bill bahut zyada aaya hai,
jabki usne to baat bhi nahi ki.
To Banta, jo Airtel ke employee hai,
usne pucha ki aapka plan kya hai?
Santa ne bola ki abhi market mein hoon,
shaam ko daru piyunga, aapka plan bataiye😃😅😆
Santa kisi ladki ke ghar rishta lekar gaya,
aur ladki ke maa-baap bole ki hamari beti abhi padhai kar rahi hai.
To Santa ne kaha ki koi baat nahi,
hum ek ghante baad aa jayenge.
Santa ke padosi ki death ho gayi,
aur Santa uske ghar gaya aur poochha- Body aa gayi kya?
Ambulance body lekar aa gayi,
to Santa ne bola- Batao, kitni lambi umar hai!
Santa: Tu ne iPhone 7 liya kya?
Banta: Nahi!
Jisse baat karni hoti hai,
auto lekar uske ghar chala jata hun,
Sasta padta hai.
मरीज- मुझे बीमारी है कि खाने के बाद भूख नहीं लगती, डॉक्टर का जवाब सुन कर हँस-हँस कर लोट-पोट हो जाओगे
Santa ne apni beti ke kamre mein cigarette dekhi...
Santa: Hey Bhagwan, yeh chori-chhipe cigarette peeti hai!
Phir beer ki bottle dekhi... Santa: Hey Bhagwan, yeh sharaab bhi peeti hai!
Phir Santa ne wahin ek ladke ko dekha...
Santa: Shukr hai Bhagwan ka... Toh yeh sab is ladke ka hai!
Santa ko apna kutta bechna tha.
Banta use kharidne wala tha.
Banta: Kya yeh kutta wafaadaar hai?
Santa: Haan ji, maine isko teen baar pehle bhi bech chuka hun,
yeh itna wafaadaar hai ki har baar mere paas waapis aa jata hai.
Santa (petrol pump par): Are bhai, zara ek rupaye ka petrol daal do.
Salesman: Bhai, itna petrol dalwakar jaana kahan hai?
Santa: Are yaar, kahin nahi jaana,
hum toh aise hi paise udaate rehte hain..!!
Santa aur Banta dono bhai ek hi class mein padhte the.
Ek din adhyapika ne pucha ki aapne apne papa ka
naam alag-alag kyun likha hai?
santa : medam phir aap kahoge nakal maari hai isliye
Santa videsh yatra se lautkar apni biwi se pucha ki kya main
videshi jaisa dikhta hoon?
Biwi ne kaha nahi to
Santa ne kaha ki phir London mein ek aurat
kyun pooch rahi thi ki main videshi hoon?
Santa ka sar fat gaya. Doctor ne poocha ki ye kaise hua?
Santa ne bataya ki maine eent se patthar tod raha tha.
Ek aadmi ne mujhse kaha,
"kabhi khopdi ka istemaal bhi kar liya karo".
Santa – Doctor sahab 2 saal pehle mujhe bukhaar aaya tha.
Doctor - Toh ab kya? Santa - Aapne naahaane ko mana kiya tha,
aaj idhar se guzar raha tha toh socha ki poochhta chalu..
"Ab naaha loon kya"? 😆😎😎 😜😂🤣
Santa sharab peekar number dial karta hai,
Tabhi ladki ki awaaz aati hai
"Call karne ke liye aapke paas paryaapt balance nahin hai,
kripaya recharge karvayen."
Santa: Bas jaaneman tumse baat ho jaati hai
ye hi kaafi hai mere liye 😜😂🤣
Santa ko ek laawaris bandar mila toh woh use police station lekar gaya!
Inspector ne kaha isko "chidiya ghar" le jao.
Santa doosre din bandar ke saath bus stop par khada tha!
Inspector ne dekha toh pucha, "Isse chidiya ghar lekar nahi gaye?"
"Santa: Kal gaya tha, khoob ghume aur bada maza aaya!
Aaj "Qutub Minar" ja rahe hain!😂😂😂😂😂
Santa ne apna X-ray kerwaya.
Doctor - Banta aap ke X-ray mein aap ki haddi tooti hui hai.
Santa: Chalo shukr hai ki X-ray mein hi tooti hai,
agar asal mein tooti hoti toh kaafi kharcha hota. 😂😂😂😂😂
Santa udas baitha paani mein patthar maar raha tha..
Ek medhak nikal kar bola..
“Paani mein aa tere udasi utaru sale,
apni waali ke chakkar mein meri waali ka sir fod diya”
Baba ji: Vishwas aur andhavishwas mein kya farak hai?
Santa: Jisne daaru di voh namkeen bhi dega… yeh hai vishwas.
Lekin… Jisne namkeen diya voh daaru bhi dega, yeh hai andhavishwas.
“Santa- Yaar shaadi ke jode kaun banata hai????
Banta – Bhagwan banata hai???
? Santa – O teri ki ,,,,, Main to darji ko de aaya.”
Santa – Oye lo paaji mithai khaao!
Banta – Kis khushi mein?
Santa – Are mera beta first class mein aaya hai!
Banta – Achcha kis mein?
Santa – Rajdhani Express mein!
Beggar: Beta kuch de de.
Santa: De dunga toh mujhe kya milega?
Beggar: Beta tujhe swarg milega.
Santa: Toh chalo main tumhe Delhi deta hoon.
Beggar: Abe Delhi kya teri hai jo mujhe de raha hai?
Santa: Toh swarg tere baap ka hai kya jo plot kaat raha hai?
Santa ne amrud liye, toh usme se keeda nikala.
Santa amrud wale se: Isme toh keeda hai!
Amrud wala: Ye kismat ki baat hai, kya pata agle baar motor cycle nikal jaaye.
Santa: 2 kilo aur de do.
Santa: Doctor sahab main chashma lagakar padh toh sakunga na?
Doctor: Haan haan bilkul.
Santa: Thank you doctor sahab, aapne anpadh aadmi ki zindagi bana di.
Santa Angrezi seekh raha tha.
Santa: Yaar Banta, "I am going" ka matlab kya hota hai?
Banta: Main ja raha hoon.
Santa: Abe aise kaise jaayega,
10 logon se pooch chuka hun, sab chale jaane ki baat karte hain. Jawab bata ke jaa!
Kidnapper: Teri biwi mere kabze mein hai,
saboot ke taur par do ungli bhej raha hun.
Santa: Saboot pakka nahi hai,
mundi bhej mundi.
Santa sapne mein ek ladki ne chappal maari,
aur phir Santa do din tak bank nahi gaya,
kyonki bank mein likha tha "Hum aapke sapno ko hakikat mein badalte hain."
Santa (air hostess se): Aapki shakl meri biwi se milti hai..
Air hostess ne jordar thappad Santa ke muh par maara..
Santa: Kamal hai, aadat bhi wahi hai!! 😀
Santa: Arre, ye tere haath-pair kaise toot gaye?
Banta: Kuch nahi yaar, woh pados mein jo Chinese rehta hai uski biwi mar gayi.
Pichle saal hi unki shaadi hui thi.
Santa: Toh?
Banta: Toh kya, woh ro raha tha toh maine kaha - bhai dukhi mat ho. Biwi ek saal toh rahi, varna China ka maal itna kahan chalta hai?
Santa aur uska dost Banta baat kar rahe hain
aur Banta poochta hai ki kaisa hai tu?
Santa bolta hai ki main majhe mein hoon.
Phir Banta poochta hai ki padhai kaisi chal rahi hai,
aur Santa kuchh nahi bolta aur bas kehta hai ki dost ki tarah raho,
rishtedaar wali harkatein mat karo.
Santa taaliyaan baja-baja kar apni shaadi ka video dekh raha tha.
Biwi ne kitchen se awaaz lagakar poocha: Itna halla kyun kar rahe ho?
Santa bola: Hamari shaadi ka video dekh raha hun.
Biwi: Kya baat hai ji, toh isliye itne khush ho rahe ho!
Santa: Haan... Video reverse karke dekh raha hun!
Ek baar Santa ne apne dost Banta se poocha ki
agar ek sher teri biwi aur saas par ek saath attack kar de,
to tu kiske bachayega?
To Banta ne kaha ki sher ko bachayega kyunki bahut kam bachche bachey hain.
Santa- Aaj maine 'paani' ko 'ullu' banaya.
Banta: Paani ko ullu? Woh kaise?
Santa: Subah maine paani garam kiya,
aur phir nahaaya hi nahin
Prasann hokar Bhagwan: – Maango vats. kya chahiye.?
Santa: – “System se chaliye prabhu..
pehle tapasya bhang karne ke liye apsaraayein aati hai..
unka kya hua.?”
Bank manager: Cash khatam ho gaya hai, kal aana
Santa: Lekin mujhe mere paise abhi chahiye
Manager: Dekhiye aap gussa mat kariye, shanti se baat kijiye..
Santa: Theek hai bulaao shanti ko, aaj usi se baat karunga!
conclusion-
Iss blog mein hamne 500 se bhi jyada mazedaar Santa Banta jokes share kiye hain. Ye jokes har umar ke logon ke liye hain aur inhe padh kar aapka din khushiyon se bhara hoga. Santa aur Banta ki baaton mein kuchh aisi baatein hain jo aapko hansi ke alawa kuchh nahi degi. Ye jokes social media, WhatsApp, aur dusre platforms par bheje ja sakte hain aur apne friends aur family ke saath share kiye ja sakte hain. Inka padhna aur sunna sabhi ko accha lagta hai aur ye ek accha stress buster bhi hai. Hum umeed karte hain ki aapko ye jokes pasand aayenge aur aap inse khush rahenge.
